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What are the Traditions at a Jewish Wedding?

Renee Eder on Tuesday, February 23, 2016

A traditional Jewish wedding is full of meaningful rituals, symbolizing the beauty of the relationship of husband and wife, as well as their obligations to each other and to the Jewish people.

Albeit, a while ago, I had a traditional Jewish wedding, so I can tell you a little bit about what to expect (with help from

1. The Wedding Day: This is the happiest and holiest day of one’s life. On this day, the chatan (hebrew for groom) and kallah (bride) forgive past mistakes as they merge into a new, complete soul.

2. Badeken: The Ashkenazi custom is that the chatan, accompanied by family and friends, proceeds to where the kallah is seated and places the veil over her face. This signals the groom's commitment to clothe and protect his wife.

3. Chuppah: The wedding ceremony takes place under the chuppah (canopy), a symbol of the home that the new couple will build together. It is open on all sides, just as Abraham and Sarah had their tent open all sides to welcome people in unconditional hospitality.

4. Circling the groom: Under the chuppah, the Ashkenazi custom is that the kallah circles the chatan seven times. Just as the world was built in seven days, the kallah is figuratively building the walls of the couple's new world together. The number seven also symbolizes the wholeness and completeness that they cannot attain separately.

5. Blessings of betrothal: Two cups of wine are used in the wedding ceremony. The first cup accompanies the blessings, recited by the rabbi. After these are recited, the couple drinks from the cup.

6. Giving of the ring: In Jewish law, a marriage becomes official when the chatan gives an object of value to the kallah (and of course, I gave him a ring too!). This is traditionally done with a ring. The ring should be made of plain gold, without blemishes or ornamentation (e.g. stones) ― just as it is hoped that the marriage will be one of simple beauty.

7. Ketubah (Marriage Contract): The ketubah outlines the chatan's various responsibilities ― to provide his wife with food, shelter and clothing, and to be attentive to her emotional needs. Protecting the rights of a Jewish wife is so important that the marriage may not be solemnized until the contract has been completed. The document is signed by two witnesses, and has the standing of a legally binding agreement. The ketubah is the property of the kallah and she must have access to it throughout their marriage (Ours is hanging in the living room!). It is often written amidst beautiful artwork, to be framed and displayed in the home.

8. Breaking the Glass: A glass is placed on the floor, and the chatan shatters it with his foot. This serves as an expression of sadness at the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem, and identifies the couple with the spiritual and national destiny of the Jewish people. This marks the conclusion of the ceremony. With shouts of "Mazel Tov," the chatan and kallah are then given an enthusiastic reception from the guests as they leave the chuppah together.

If you have a simcha, such as a wedding or a bar mitzvah coming up, we wish you mazel tov! As you probably know, a lot goes into planning such occasions. Let us help you this Sunday at our Simcha Expo, from 12-4 at the J!  This one-stop shopping expo will feature invitations, DJs, party favors, caterers, photographers, venues, decorations and much much more… we’ll have it all! For more on the Simcha Expo experience, please read our previous blog post on the subject.

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